The appeal of a romance has nothing to do with the romance

Have you ever wondered about why you enjoy a certain genre? Chances are you haven’t. We all just know we like it. You might have identified some genre tropes and conventions that you tend to love. 

But, lets be honest, it’s always easier to explain why you hate something. I could spend hours and hours ranting about my least favourite novels and films that pissed me off, and I literally have. Just see my reviews of The Time Traveller’s Wife and Last Christmas. My dislike was so all consuming that my thoughts effortlessly spilled out of me. The reasons I love something are no where near as apparent. I have to search for them, or hope that the answer comes to me in a flash. 

I had one of these epiphanies the other day. The specific reason I enjoy reading romance dawned on me, as all the best thoughts do, on a dog walk. The reason I love romance is not because I love a happily ever after narrative or passionate love declarations. It isn’t even because of my favourite relationship dynamics – enemies to lovers, fake dating, and celebrity romances. In fact, why I love a romance has almost nothing to do with the romance. 

I love romance novels because, alongside the romance, they are narratives of confused people finding direction. 

This is in no way a relatable topic for a twenty-three year old who has just graduated and still lives at home. 

The romantic hero is a dream, not because they have Disney Prince hair or charm your socks off. They are dreams because they help the protagonist discover (and often start working towards) her dream life. I too would like a magical man to stand by me as I sort my life out. But, to be honest, I would be more than happy to magically resolve my problems without any male company. The man, the love, and the relationship are far less important to me than reading about someone finding themselves. 

Romance novels are the antidote to my favourite sub genre of literary fiction: what I have dubbed the messy 20-something novel. These are novels that typically focus on a woman in her early twenties who does not know what she is doing with her life. She has a mind numbing job to pay the bills, she is probably in a shit relationship (if she is in one), and she is most certainly a self-certified mess. We follow her make bad decision after bad decision and it is incredibly relatable. I can (and will) list my favourite novels in this genre. In fact, expect a definitive list of the best messy 20-something books in a future post. 

Romances are the messy 20-something novel with a neater ending. Instead of ending on confusion, anxiety, and uncertainty, these novels end with a message of hope. Even if the characters have not achieved their dreams (typically shown through a flash forward), they are at least taking the first steps towards it. They know their direction and are steering themselves along this road.  

This realisation hit me like a brick. I instantly informed all my fellow romance-readers and fellow messy 20-somethings about my epiphany. Yet, this shouldn’t have surprised me. All my favourite romance novels follow a character as they address their mental health issues, start their dream job, accept themselves, or resolve a family conflict. They basically deal with the things they have been purposefully not dealing with. These aspirational romances include (in no particular order):

• The Hating Game by Sally Thorne 
• Book Lovers by Emily Henry 
• Beach Read by Emily Henry 
• The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochran 
• Red, White, and Royal Blue By Casey McQuiston 
• Mr Wrong Number by Lynn Painter 
• The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn 
• Hook, Line, and Sinker by Tessa Bailey 

Romance is basically the push I need. It’s essentially therapy. The happy feeling I get in my stomach is not swooning, it is hope for the future. 

Into the Intricacies of Alone With You in the Ether by Olivie Blake

Interiority and interaction find harmony in Olivie Blake’s Alone With You in the Ether. Throughout the novel, she balances sections of dialogue with sections of introspection. The two are not in completion, they complement each other. Alone with You in the Ether is simultaneously about both. It is an examination of interaction interiority.

This maps Regan and Aldo’s relationship. While Regan is an extrovert and Aldo is very much introverted, the two are drawn together and find their lives completely entwined. Yet, the two are not co-dependent or two halves of the same coin. They are two people who choose to be together because they understand each other.

In this respect, the novel offers much more than the typical opposites attract narrative. In fact, it very much isn’t a tropey book. It seems to defy categorisation. Again, much like Blake’s central relationship. Regan and Aldo become much more than a couple throughout the narrative, they are confidants, partners, and co-conspirators.

Together they form something new and exciting that enhances their previously lonely existence. This is what it means to be ‘alone with you’. The characters are independent, yet attached. They co-exist, much like how their perspectives co-create the narrative. Blake seems to other a new perspective on love. Love doesn’t fix you, instead being in love is to embrace the other person’s individuality or their mess. She recounts two imperfect people forming an imperfect (but perfect for them) relationship.

Alone With You in the Ether is not a plot-focused novel. If you are looking for a romance book that is fast-paced and full of drama look elsewhere – perhaps check out some of my previous reviews. Maybe Colleen Hoover’s repertoire or Tessa Bailey’s Hook Line and Sinker will be the book for you. However, if you are looking to fall deep into two characters’ minds and learn to understand them on the deep level they understand each other, Alone With You in the Ether is just for you.

Hook, Line and Sinker by Tessa Bailey Reeled Me In

I put off reading this book as I mistakingly thought I wouldn’t enjoy it as much as the first in the series, however, I might have actually enjoyed it more!

Hook, Line, and Sinker follows Hannah (Piper’s sister from It Happened One Summer) and Fox (Brendan’s friend from It Happened One Summer). After initially meeting about a year prior, Hannah and Fox are about to be reunited in person. However, in their time apart, they were still connected. Like two people listening to the same song at the same time, Fox and Hannah were always in sync. Not only were they constantly on each other’s minds, but they were also in each other’s inboxes (the prologue is a list of their texts and it might be the best start to a romance book I have ever read). Now their lives are about to become more entwined as Hannah is visiting Westport to shoot a film she is working on but unfortunatly is unable to stay with her sister. Instead, she is forced to become roommates with Fox – yes, they were roommates. Finally, in the same place again, Hannah and Fox cannot ignore their connection, despite both wanting to.

Normally, I am not the biggest fan of friends to lovers. I don’t hate it, but it is not a trope that motivates me to read a romance (enemies to lovers and fake dating are the main romance tropes I seek out). Yet, I instantly loved this novel. I think part of the charm might have been because we had already seen the characters meet and I love the tension this created. This book showed me that I love a romance between two characters who are already connected when it spans a series – I knew I loved this in TV and film. But this book has motivated me to seek out this trope in romance books (or romance series I guess). I love characters who are drawn together despite their best efforts, but I am not the biggest fan of a slow-burn romance. I think I enjoyed how this book integrated the essence of this story into a rom-com. It was intense without sacrificing the fun.

I loved Hannah as a main character – her passion for music was so interesting to read about. At times it gave me the vibes of Pitch Perfect which may sound weird but she reminded me of Beca in various ways. Don’t get me wrong I also loved Piper (and her similarity to Alexis one of my fave fictional characters). But I found Hannah a bit more relatable – I definitely need to believe in myself a little bit more. Her job was really cool and fiction about the film industry always appeals to me.

Fox was also a more relatable character for me. I didn’t really love Brendan in the first book (there was nothing wrong with him but I didn’t find myself connecting with him in any way and for a romance, you have to love the hero not just think they are okay). In this book, I loved Fox’s point of view and desperately wanted him to believe in himself. I liked that he faced a similar, yet still distinct, issue from Hannah. They felt like two sides of the same coin.

Both characters were on a journey to accept themselves and see themselves differently than they have previously. They truly evolve in the story, and I love that this change was in their perception. They were wonderful together and I really feel that they will grow together. I really felt their connection and that is the sign of a great romance.