The Play or The Game or The Siege

You’re gone, you’re gone.

You left the room that you now want to see,

Not even inside and you make the papers go flying.

Punching me in the gut for not watching you leave

 

But I did watch.

I saw it all from the other side of the road

When you wanted us to go to the moon

But I didn’t want you to take away my breath.

 

Just because I’m not the hero doesn’t mean I am the villain

We both gave all we could,

In the play, in the game, in the siege,

Yet we both lost, we both lost everything, or whatever that means.

 

Still when I look back on us looking back

It hurts even though I know

You can’t win a game of chess on a monopoly board

And you certainly shouldn’t expect me to still play when you tip over the board.

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Every Sunday is a Sunday

It’s a Sunday, again

In this little town, in my mind

Flowers are blooming

Along the coast

On the beach

(If you can call that a beach)

People stomp and walk

In their walking boots

They go from shop to shop

To not-quite standing, still

The day goes on

Sundays don’t stop for them

Like they don’t stop for a Sunday

lunch or a sundae, in the heat

(The artificially real heat)

I sweat waiting for their Sunday to end

And my Sunday to begin.

I just wish I could see me

I wish my eyes could see my soul
Would they like what they see?
Or would they want to change it.

In looking after myself am I being selfish?
In trying to make a part of me better and I making another worse?
Or have I always had that quality.

How do you be nice? how do you be anything?
I know I can’t win,
I just wish I could see me.

Being hungry

The hungry caterpillar takes it all

And then the butterfly takes more than just the hunger.

 

The caterpillar needs to be hungry to exist.

I need food to survive.

 

The butterfly exists in a world away from food

Is she pretty, is she colourful?

She isn’t bubbly, and she certainly isn’t hungry.

 

I take things away to be this butterfly,

The swan we were promised to be.

We were never told this would be hard

We were never told we would lose ourselves

We were never told that we could be neither hungry nor the butterfly.

 

I don’t want to be seen as hungry

No, I don’t want to be hungry

But a butterfly is different

Than a caterpillar who isn’t hungry.