The appeal of a romance has nothing to do with the romance

Have you ever wondered about why you enjoy a certain genre? Chances are you haven’t. We all just know we like it. You might have identified some genre tropes and conventions that you tend to love. 

But, lets be honest, it’s always easier to explain why you hate something. I could spend hours and hours ranting about my least favourite novels and films that pissed me off, and I literally have. Just see my reviews of The Time Traveller’s Wife and Last Christmas. My dislike was so all consuming that my thoughts effortlessly spilled out of me. The reasons I love something are no where near as apparent. I have to search for them, or hope that the answer comes to me in a flash. 

I had one of these epiphanies the other day. The specific reason I enjoy reading romance dawned on me, as all the best thoughts do, on a dog walk. The reason I love romance is not because I love a happily ever after narrative or passionate love declarations. It isn’t even because of my favourite relationship dynamics – enemies to lovers, fake dating, and celebrity romances. In fact, why I love a romance has almost nothing to do with the romance. 

I love romance novels because, alongside the romance, they are narratives of confused people finding direction. 

This is in no way a relatable topic for a twenty-three year old who has just graduated and still lives at home. 

The romantic hero is a dream, not because they have Disney Prince hair or charm your socks off. They are dreams because they help the protagonist discover (and often start working towards) her dream life. I too would like a magical man to stand by me as I sort my life out. But, to be honest, I would be more than happy to magically resolve my problems without any male company. The man, the love, and the relationship are far less important to me than reading about someone finding themselves. 

Romance novels are the antidote to my favourite sub genre of literary fiction: what I have dubbed the messy 20-something novel. These are novels that typically focus on a woman in her early twenties who does not know what she is doing with her life. She has a mind numbing job to pay the bills, she is probably in a shit relationship (if she is in one), and she is most certainly a self-certified mess. We follow her make bad decision after bad decision and it is incredibly relatable. I can (and will) list my favourite novels in this genre. In fact, expect a definitive list of the best messy 20-something books in a future post. 

Romances are the messy 20-something novel with a neater ending. Instead of ending on confusion, anxiety, and uncertainty, these novels end with a message of hope. Even if the characters have not achieved their dreams (typically shown through a flash forward), they are at least taking the first steps towards it. They know their direction and are steering themselves along this road.  

This realisation hit me like a brick. I instantly informed all my fellow romance-readers and fellow messy 20-somethings about my epiphany. Yet, this shouldn’t have surprised me. All my favourite romance novels follow a character as they address their mental health issues, start their dream job, accept themselves, or resolve a family conflict. They basically deal with the things they have been purposefully not dealing with. These aspirational romances include (in no particular order):

• The Hating Game by Sally Thorne 
• Book Lovers by Emily Henry 
• Beach Read by Emily Henry 
• The Charm Offensive by Alison Cochran 
• Red, White, and Royal Blue By Casey McQuiston 
• Mr Wrong Number by Lynn Painter 
• The Viscount Who Loved Me by Julia Quinn 
• Hook, Line, and Sinker by Tessa Bailey 

Romance is basically the push I need. It’s essentially therapy. The happy feeling I get in my stomach is not swooning, it is hope for the future. 

Wrapping it Up: Books I Read in December 2020

This was a relatively slow, at least slow for me reading month. But every month can’t be fantastic can it.

Mr Salary by Sally Rooney

Sally Rooney is always fantastic. It was a great short story about a weird and interesting relationship – this is what unities all her work. I really enjoyed it, but I don’t think I enjoyed it as much as her novels – the standard is high.

Circe by Madeline Miller

I have heard good things about this book, and her other book, for ages but I was never particularly enthused to read them – Song of Achilles interested me more to be honest. But I saw that I could get the audiobook through the library and I wasn’t really sure what I wanted to read next so I thought I would give this a go and I am really glad I did. Some of parts of this book really drew me in – I particularly loved the beginning. As the novel does not follow a conventional narrative arc, it is more character focused than plot focussed, I did find there were some parts I wasn’t as engaged in.

Station Eleven by Emily St. John Mandel

I really enjoyed this book. I think Emily St. John Mandel might be sneaking up to be one of my favourite authors, I am definitely planning on reading more of her books. I don’t think I enjoyed it quite as much as The Glass Hotel, however, this book was not triggering which I did worry it would be – reading about a pandemic during a pandemic was a choice. I love how her stories are about connectivity between people and things – that is one of my favourite things for literary fiction to do. I also loved the Shakespeare element of this story and the focus on acting and stories. I think I might have to reread this one to fully appreciate it though.

Liar of Dreams by Libba Bray

This book took me a surprisingly long time to read. I did not enjoy it as much as the first one, but I don’t fully know why. I think the first one focused more on characters and felt a tiny bit more self aware. I still really enjoy the world and the characters but I think it will be a while before I pick up the next one.

Ghosts by Dolly Alderton

I listened to the audiobook of this book and I really enjoyed it. I had heard about this book, but was unsure if I would actually pick it up. But it was free through my library so I did and I really enjoyed it. I think I would perhaps have enjoyed it more if I had read it when I was a bit older – that sounds weird but the book is so much about being in your 30s that I imagine I could have related more if I was older. That does not mean that I did not enjoy the book. I really like books that play on meanings and this book explores multiple meanings on the word ghost.

Please Like Me (But Keep Away) and Kind of Hindu by Mindy Kaling

I saw that Mindy Kaling had a collection of stories available for free for Prime members and these were the two that I could also get for free on Audible. There was a minor issue with the others not being free, but we sorted that. I really enjoyed these two stories, I love Mindy Kaling she’s great – I basically watch any TV show she creates. I’ve read one of her other books and I loved that too. I kind of wish I read all of her stories in one go – but I am planning on reading the others where I have a chance to read the ebooks.

Real Life by Brandon Taylor

I had moments where I was really loving this book and others where I was not quite so into it. But overall I think it was a great book – the problems were definitely with me not the book. There are sections of this book that are going to sit with me for a while. As someone in university who is also feeling a little bit lost I did relate – not to everything but the general sentiment. I love a campus novel and this was no exception.

The Hating Game by Sally Thorne – 4.5 stars

This book is the best romance I read this year by far and I read a lot of romance this year. I was really excited about this one. I asked for it for Christmas and was so excited when I received it that I jumped straight into reading it. As soon as I started I knew I was going to love it. The dynamic between the characters was great – there was a good amount of banter and chemistry. I also loved the development of the plot, a lot of romances feature some key scenes and this book was good at avoiding cliques. The main character as well really resonated with me – she has the type of job that I want and she also has similar friendships. I just loved everything about this book. I can’t wait to read more by Sally Thorne.

Love by Toni Morrison – 3 stars

For whatever reason, this book just didn’t click with me. I had wanted to read a book by Toni Morrison for ages and this is the one that I picked. Although, I kind of wish that I had started with that one – I will probably still pick this up. I finished this book a few days ago and I cannot fully remember all the details to be honest, I know there was a hotel and a community and that’s about it.

The Turn of the Screw by Henry James – 4 stars

I reread this book for the third time and this time I enjoyed it so much more than the other 2 times. I really enjoy analysing horror and I think that came through this time when I just had so many ideas about the book and what is all meant.

Reading Rush 2020 TBR

I have never done a TBR on my blog before so we will see how this goes! Here are the books I am planning to read for this year’s reading rush. Last year I did try, halfheartedly, to participate but this year I am approaching it with more gusto. Also, last year I was working full time and this year I have way more time to read due to the worldwide pandemic. I do have some things I need to do which is why I do have two different plans, so if I’m not particularly into reading this week I can count some of the books I am reading for more than one of the categories.

Challenges

1) Read a book with a cover that matches the colour of your birthstone.

I was born in November so my birthstone is topaz or citrine, so I was looking for a book with yellow on the cover. Ideally, I plan on reading Love, Creekwood by Becky Albertaili. I thought that this book would be a great choice as it is short, an ebook, told through emails and is about characters I already know. However, it does come out in the UK during the week so I might not be able to get to it and I do have other books which can also fill the challenge.

2) Read a book that starts with the word “The”.

My plan for this challenge does also complete the first challenge. I am planning to read The Nightingale by Kristin Hannah. This is quite a long book so perhaps not the best pick but as I can use it for a few challenges I am not that bothered. I have been wanting to read this book for a while and recently this urge has been even more prominent.

I have also realised that as I am rereading Ali Smith’s books for my dissertation. I think I am going to be reading The Accidental this week so that could count for this challenge. In which case The Nightingale can count for the first challenge. I wish I had realised it earlier and not when I had almost finished writing this post.

3) Read a book that inspired a movie you’ve already seen.

I struggled with this challenge the most. For all of these books I am wanting to read books I either already own, can get through the library or can get relatively cheaply. I have bought some books but I couldn’t think of a book for this challenge that I wanted to read enough to justify buying it. I also realised I needed an audiobook to listen to for this week. So I decided to listen to Matilda by Roald Dahl. I only read a few of his books when I was younger (all of them through school) so I think it will be nice to finally read this modern children’s classic.

4) Read the first book you touch.

This is perhaps my least favourite challenge as I don’t own that many books I haven’t read at the moment – when the challenges were announced I didn’t even own a physical book that I wanted to read. I also don’t see how this is a real challenge as technically I can just purposely touch a book and choose to read that one. I have decided to interpret this challenge as to read a book I physically own. At the moment I don’t own many books that I haven’t read that I am that interested in reading – I have a few that I bought very cheaply that I am not in any great rush to read. For this challenge, I am going to try to read All That She Can See by Carrie Hope Fletcher. However, I might end up reading The Nightingale for this challenge as well – see this book is a good pick as it can fit into up to three different challenges.

5) Read a book completely outside of your house.

For this challenge, I knew what I was going to read relatively quickly as I had seen this book on my library and noticed that the audiobook is very short. No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference by Greta Thunberg is my choice for this one. I listen to audiobooks on 2x speed so I should be able to get through it in a 40-minute walk. 

6) Read a book in a genre that you’ve always wanted to read more of.

Again this is a challenge that other books can fit into. The Nightingale can count for this one as it is historical fiction (something I hardly ever read but have been getting more into), so could No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference (I don’t read a lot of non-fiction, especially non-autobiographical non-fiction) and so could my pick for the next challenge as it is a thriller. However, I have decided to pick ABC Murders by Agatha Christie for this challenge as recently (the last month or two) I have been delving into mysteries and this is one of Agatha Christie’s books that I can get through my library. 

7) Read a book that takes place on a different continent than where you live.

This challenge I initially struggled with, I could have easily picked a book set in North America but that seemed too easy. For this challenge, I am reading My Sister the Serial Killer by Oyinkan Braithwaite. This book is set in Nigeria so it completes the challenge really well. I have been vaguely interested in this book for a little while and since I have become more into mysteries and thrillers this interest has grown. It is also quite a short book, so it is perfect for this readathon.

Reading Order

As I have a couple of plans in place I think it is important to specify the order I am going to read them in – also this will help clear it up in my mind.

• The first book I will pick up will be The Accidental as I will work on it on Monday morning. This will complete ‘the’
• I am going to try and read No One Is Too Small To Make A Difference next as it will be the quickest to read. This will complete reading outside.
• I will also pick up The Nightingale on Monday as it is the longest so might take a while to read. This will complete the birthstone challenge and the first book you touch.
• I will then pick up My Sister the Serial Killer at some point during the week. This will complete reading a book set in another continent and a genre you want to read more of.
• Throughout the week I will listen to the audiobook of Matilda. This will complete reading a book that you have seen the adaption of.

This is the least number of books I plan on completing throughout the week. Obviously, this is still a lot so it might be hard to complete, but I think if I try and can do it.

Then if I have more time I will try to read the following books:

• ABC Murders – for the genre challenge
• All The Light She Can See – for the touch challenge
• Lastly, I will try to read Love Creekwood for the birthstone challenge if I have time – I won’t need it to complete the challenges as I realised that my university work fits a challenge. However, it would be nice to complete all the challenges without including that one as it isn’t a book I am purely reading for fun. This is definitely my last priority though.

To Feel

I can’t remember how it felt

to be that free and careless

was it love or friendship

was it everything or just a thing

do I miss you or the person you were?

My Sign

When we held hands

What did it mean for you?

I have a guess

Based on a glance

I wish I had never seen.

Would it have been different

If it had meant the same to me?

Or even if it had meant anything at all.

Our Signs

You took my hand

And decided it was love.

You held me close

And decided it was more.

 

You looked at me

And decided I should know

You loved me

And decided I loved you back.

Questions

What does love feel like?

Is it what I think of when I remember you?

Is it what I feel when I close my eyes?

Is it what happens when my mind wonders?

How can you tell the difference?

Is it how I feel or how I want to feel?

If both emotions and thought come from within

Then will I ever really know?

 

Fragments of a Lost Poem about a Lost Opportunity

 

With just one look I knew,

Your eyes sought mine and your heart leapt through.

My eyes were open, yet my mind couldn’t see.

Why Representation is Needed

In the 21st Century, there has been lots of progress in representation, this has been across all genres (books, TV shows, films etc). However, there is unfortunately still a lack of representation. You still see a lot of white, heterosexual, cisgender able-bodied men as main characters, or even as all the characters.

Society cannot change without representation. Progress can’t be made without representation. People have these built up stereotypes of groups of people they don’t regularly see and the only way to break these stereotypes is for them to be represented in the media. But this doesn’t just mean having one character of a race/gender/sexuality/disability, it means having multiple characters of each.

Within the representation, there should be a variety of characters and who aren’t defined by who they are and aren’t all stereotypes. These characters should show all the sides of a group and show the diversity within a group. Only then can people truly understand these groups. This is how people who are uneducated on issues such as race, gender, sexualities and disabilities change there mind and realise they are just people too and that they are normal.

But not only is representation needed as it helps people understand these groups it also makes members of these groups feel more validated. Lack of representation can cause self-hate so representation is needed for self-acceptance.

It can also make people feel happy as they can finally see themselves in fiction that they know and love (great shows are made great with a good representation of groups you are in).

Ultimately representation is needed for acceptance.